This post isn’t about movie star looks.

Every single word Matthew McConaughey uttered during a recent Howard Stern interview about why he initially fell for his wife Camila Alves is applicable to YOUR dating life.

Here’s the gist of his story:

He was at a club in L.A. with friends. In walks this woman, who he was immediately taken with. He told himself he’d be an idiot if he didn’t go over to say hello. He walked over and asked if she and her friends wanted to come over and have drinks with him and his friends.

Camila agreed and went over to have a drink. At the end of the night, when they were leaving the club, Camila’s car was being impounded. Matthew suggested she come back with him and his buddies for a late night hangout session. She agreed.

They hung out for a bit back at the house, but she then eventually went off to the guest room to sleep. Matthew joked that he tried to sneak in a couple times hoping for some action, but she rejected his advances.

That is NOT what made him fall for her.

What did it for him were three things that occurred the next day:

  1. He told Howard that the next morning, as he was walking down the stairs to go into the kitchen, he sees Camila in her dress from last night hanging out with all his buddies having breakfast, joking around as if she had known them for years. He said that he was blown away by that, because it showed how comfortable in her own skin she was. She didn’t care what it looked like — that she was in her dress from the night before and had gone home with a guy. She wasn’t embarrassed. There was no awkwardness. She knew who she was and that was so totally sexy to Matthew.
  2. When it was time for her to go home, Matthew drove Camila home. He said that the entire way (a 45-minute drive) they listened to an album he had made with a friend of his and not ONE WORD was spoken. They just enjoyed each other’s company and the music. He loved how easy it was, how comfortable and relaxed he felt in her presence.
  3. When he arrived at Camila’s home, he asked her out for the next night. She said she couldn’t because it was her dad’s birthday. Howard joked that most women who’ve just been asked out by Matthew McConaughey would have jumped at the chance and bailed on dad. Matthew then asked if she was free the following night or the night after that, both of which Camila already had plans. Finally, they arrived on a night that she did not have plans and she agreed to go out. Matthew loved that she had a full, busy life and didn’t feel the need to drop her plans just to go out with him. Of course, we have no way of knowing if Camila was playing hard to get. I choose to believe that she really did have plans and told Matthew when she was available. That she wasn’t going to drop her life at the enticing thought of being taken out by one of the world’s biggest movie stars.

And the rest, as they say, was history for Matthew and Camila.

The reasons he fell for her are reasons I talk to my clients about ALL. THE. TIME.

You don’t need to have movie star beauty. You don’t need to be super skinny with perfectly tanned skin. You don’t have to be 25. This has nothing to do with age or beauty. (Let’s face it: Matthew McConaughey dated countless beauties before meeting Camila Alves.)

This has everything to do with…

  • Confidence and comfort in one’s own skin, a feeling of security with who you are.
  • The ability to make a man feel at ease (which often starts with being at ease with yourself).
  • The ability to set healthy boundaries.

I guarantee you that if you bring these three qualities into YOUR dating life, you’ll be attracting more quality men in no time.

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