A big part of what I do in my dating coaching business is motivate and inspire women to light a fire in their bellies (hearts!) when it comes to creating love in their lives.
Many women need that support, that push, that sounding board when it comes to getting started or, perhaps, starting over after disappointing experiences.
Because it’s very easy for women to get stuck in a rut, to resort to inaction, apathy, and excuses when it comes to matters of the heart.
On a former radio show about dating and relationships that I created and hosted years ago, one of my guests, Kristen Houghton, was on the show to talk about her book: “And Then I’ll Be Happy.”
The point of her book was simple but profound: The time to create your own happiness is now.
Women are very good at delaying their own happiness, sacrificing their own true needs and desires in the process.
There will always be any number of excuses that will hold you back from finding fulfillment and joy in your life. Sometimes, ironically, it’s easier and safer to be stuck in your excuses, despite your unhappiness with where you are, because it means you don’t have to do the work to create happiness.
And let’s face it: There is work involved in creating change in your life. Sorry to disappoint you.
So, what are your excuses? How have you delayed your own happiness?
More specifically, what are your excuses when it comes to stalling in your love life?
I’ve heard any number of them:
- Once I lose those 15 pounds, then I’ll find love
- Once I get that perfect job and make more money, then I’ll find love
- Once I finish this project at work, then I’ll find love
- Once the New Year (or insert any date or season) comes, then I’ll have more time and energy to find love
- Once my on-again, off-again guy is in a better place in his job (or insert any other life circumstance), then he’ll be ready to commit and then I’ll find love with him (finally!)
And on and on.
The only problem is:
- Often times, the woman never gets around to losing the weight
- Often times, the woman puts off her job search
- Another project is right around the corner
- The New Year comes and the woman says, well, I might as well wait until the summer at this point
- The wishy-washy, non-committal guy never comes around but always manages to keep the woman hanging on, waiting and holding her breath for something to change
But what if a woman says to herself regarding any of the above excuses:
- OK, I can do both right now – lose weight and get started in my dating life. Or, I can come to embrace and love my shape and size and search for a man who also appreciates (adores!) my body.
- OK, I can do both right now – keep looking for a better, more meaningful job while also pursuing dating opportunities and possibilities.
- OK, after this project, another one will most likely pop up soon after. There will never be a perfect time, so why not find ways to manage my project at work while also putting some time into, say, online dating and getting out on a couple of dates each month.
- OK, there will always be an opportunity to push back getting started, so why choose some arbitrary date? Why not just get started right now?!
- OK, the time is now to let go of this man and find someone who can give me what I need in a relationship.
Ah, yes! That’s what I’m talking about!
Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you have to wait for some perfect moment or time in your life to get started when it comes to creating what you want most in life: a healthy, happy relationship with a man who adores you.
The time is now. Today!
No more excuses for delaying your happiness.
No more excuses for denying your heart’s desires.
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