Imagine you’re out on a date with a terrific guy. Conversation is great and you’re definitely feeling a connection. You’ve exchanged stories about some of your passions and interests in life, and the dynamic between the two of you feels natural and easy.
You decide to go with the flow and invite him back to your place. As you walk in the door, you feel the energy change as he stumbles over a pair of shoes. You head into the living room and clear a space for him on the couch amid the magazines. He asks to use the bathroom and you wince.
Stop. Don’t let this become a reality.
My favorite dating advice from Neely? “You build your own love story.” It’s more than a motivational sentiment; it’s a call to action! As a love entrepreneur, a Love TREP, as Neely likes to say, you know all about building your brand. From start to finish, the messages you send must be consistent. Not just because of what it says about you to others, but because of what it says to you about yourself.
Your home is the secret weapon in your dating arsenal. A way to explore what you love and to create a space that says, “This is me and it’s fabulous.” And I’ve got good news. It’s easier to do than you think.
What does my home say about me? Grab a notepad, walk in your front door and look around like you’ve never seen the place before.
- Is it warm and inviting?
- Purely functional?
- A jumble of stuff?
In a single phrase, write down how it felt when you walked in the door. Go from room to room, looking around through a stranger’s eyes and writing down what you see and how it feels.
When you’re finished, take the pad and head to a place you love to be. Read through your notes and summarize what you’ve seen.
- Is your home comfy but disheveled?
- A little impersonal or unfinished?
Don’t worry about what you find, this is just good information.
What do I want it to say? Turn to a fresh page on that pad and ask, “How do I want to feel when I walk in the door?” Here are some examples:
- I’m happy and confident.
- I love an adventure.
- There’s beauty in the familiar.
There are no wrong answers here, just an expression of you.
It’s time for a game plan. Now, look up from that pad. You’re in a place you love to be. Why is it appealing to you? Maybe it has a lively energy that sparks something in you. It could be a peaceful retreat from the every day. Whatever it is, get granular about why you like it and let it inspire you as you pull together the plan for your own home.
Don’t worry about getting fancy, just write down three things you could do in each room to capture the feeling you want your home to have.
For example: Want your entry to feel dramatic and sophisticated? Try this on for size: Clean up any visible clutter; buy a clean-lined white console table; place a lovely dish on the table to capture your keys and house your mail; break out the paintbrush and paint the entry black.
Here’s my shopping list for creating a sophisticated entryway:
- Banded mirror. $329 LampsPlus
- Mercury table lamp. $121 Wayfair
- Malachite tray. $195 L’Objet
- Console nesting table. $399 Wayfair
- Pitch Black Paint. $97/gallon Farrow & Ball
How good does it feel to walk into your home and have it reflect you? It reinforces who you are and how you want to see yourself. And even better? It will send that same message to your date.
To read my blog for more inspiration around the house or a little design coaching, visit me at www.designadventures.com and find your way home!
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